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News Update 2/24/07

  • League website updated
  • Rabid Mutants (CoHutch) change team name to Rump Raiders, reveal website.
  • 2007-2008 page is posted, includes new rules and scoring module

News Update 2/13/07
Robbie Wheeler's Toestompers
(last year's doormat completes worst to first finish - wins title)

Strong starting running back performances combined with a weak output by Peyton Manning standards and a typical Rex Grossman peformance pave the way for Regular Season Champion Toestompers to overtake defending GridIron Guru Champion Pulpman and claim the title in just his second season.
Robbie Wheeler's Toestompers win Regular Season Championship
Defending Champion Pulpman returns to defend title
Africans return to playoffs after one year absence
CoHutch misses playoffs for first time in 7 seasons
Last year's regular season champ finishes last
(quits league in shame - second former champ to do so as level of competition rises again)

News Update 2/6/05
 Rabid Mutants win Dual Championships...
Complete results at http://joehutch.tripod.com/gurus/

Playoff Scoring for GridIron Gurus:
Rabid Mutants - 6344
PulpMan - 6322
MidSouth Africans - 5796

Playoff Scoring for Gurus R Us:
Rabid Mutants - 7308
MidSouth Africans - 5782
PackerPuke - 5533

Mutants win big league championship by same 22 point margin they lost by last year despite same 200+ point collapse in final 90 seconds...run away with little league title...retake Hall of Fame Manager Championship Points lead...(read more)



News Update 8/15/04
League Grows to Five Teams
The MidSouth Africans have rejoined the league. They made their league debut last season and went last-to-third, made the playoffs, and made a little noise in the end. Nice to have them back.
News Update 7/27/04
League Grows
The Trigun Gladiators and the Sphynx Sinners have joined the league in recent days. There is a rumor that the Gladiators may actually be last year's Trigun team, but there has been no confirmation of this as yet.  And we're still waiting to see if Jynx will be back this year.
Regardless, welcome to all the new teams.

News Update 7/21/04
Horny Hippy becomes Rabid Mutants in Midnight Move!
During the cover of darkness Manager Joe Hutchison has moved his Hippy franchise to Tallapoosa, Georgia. But believe it or not, that is a minor change. Announcing the move this morning at a press conference, he also announced many other changes that are sure to alienate hippy fans worldwide. The Hippy name was abandoned in favor of the Rabid Mutants. The entire coaching staff was replaced, and fourteen former players were cut, many starters last year. All were replaced by an odd and vile assortment of mutants, ghouls, and other degenerates. The team logo was changed, and two mascots introduced. The changes are so severe, it hardly seems like the same franchise. Said Hutchison, "This is what I was after. A complete facelift. We went from soft to hard, pretty to poisonous, funloving to ravenous. We're now a lean, mean, scary team. We went from respecting the PackerPuke to wondering if they would be better fried, baked, or raw. We are no longer nice and cuddly, now we're nasty and bloody. And we're ready to feed on the pathetic competition that awaits us."
Click here to see the new home page for the Rabid Mutants
..Home

7/16/04
News Flash:
"Hippo" the Horny Hippy retired!
new mascot to be unveiled in "a matter of days"
Hippo the Horny Hippy
Manager Joe Hutchison, in a surprise last minute move has retired Hippo, the lovable Horny Hippy Mascot, and banned the use of several now former team symbols including the "yin yang" and "peace" signs and any reference to "illegal drugs." The moves, just before the new season starts, have outraged local hippys who claim the affectionate sideline prowler is being used as a scapegoat for last season's last second championship collapse. When confronted with this allegation Hutchison did not pretend otherwise, "collapse?? - you mean that self mutilation last year? Yeah, we started the party 2 minutes too soon. That's what horny, happy, mamby-pamby hippies do. And it cost us everything. It won't happen again. Now we are the Hostile Hippys and we have a score to settle with them Tipton County cowtipping boys" referring to the reigning repeat Champion PackerPuke. He was later quoted as saying "Hippo is a good personal friend of mine, a real nice guy, and a real babe magnet. And he's fun to be around when you can get him to keep his pants on. But he no longer symbolizes the mood of this team. He realizes this and agreed to retire. He didn't want to represent "hostile" anyway. The new mascot won't fumble about wagging his dally and toking the happy weed, he'll scratch, fight, and claw his way past those fumunda PackerPuke, and he'll do it with an attitude.  He will be agile, mobile, and hostile - very hostile." 
The team name was changed from the Portland Pride when it moved to the Memphis area two seasons ago. Hutchison now lives in Georgia and that, coupled with the latest changes have enraged local hippy support. Hutchison is reportedly considering moving the team to Tallapoosa and dropping the "hippy" name, but so far has had no comment on the matter. Many insiders feel this latest shakeup is a precursor to that very move.
League analyst Mike (the muncher) Tyson says there seems to be a direct effort to single out the PackerPuke for confrontation by the Hippy franchise, "That whitie wants trouble man." League Commissioner Richie Cunningham warned both franchises to "just cut it out you guys" and the league's legal advisor (Rodney Peete) asked "can't we all just get along?" So far there has been no official reply from the PackerPuke organization or Manager Quitter.
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