News Update 2/24/07
- League website updated
- Rabid Mutants (CoHutch) change team name to Rump Raiders, reveal website.
- 2007-2008 page is posted, includes new rules and scoring module
News Update 2/13/07
Robbie Wheeler's Toestompers
(last year's doormat completes worst to first finish - wins title)
Strong starting running back performances combined with a weak output
by Peyton Manning standards and a typical Rex Grossman peformance pave
the way for Regular Season Champion Toestompers to overtake defending
GridIron Guru Champion Pulpman and claim the title in just his second season.
Robbie Wheeler's Toestompers win Regular Season Championship
Defending Champion Pulpman returns to defend title
Africans return to playoffs after one year absence
CoHutch misses playoffs for first time in 7 seasons
Last year's regular season champ finishes last
(quits league in shame - second former champ to do so as level of competition rises again)
Mutants win Dual Championships...
News Update 2/6/05
Complete results at http://joehutch.tripod.com/gurus/
Playoff Scoring for GridIron
Rabid Mutants - 6344
PulpMan - 6322
MidSouth Africans - 5796
Playoff Scoring for Gurus
Rabid Mutants - 7308
MidSouth Africans - 5782
PackerPuke - 5533
Mutants win big league championship
by same 22 point margin they lost by last year despite same 200+ point
collapse in final 90 seconds...run away with little league title...retake
Hall of Fame Manager Championship Points lead...(read
News Update 8/15/04
League Grows to Five Teams
The MidSouth Africans have rejoined
the league. They made their league debut last season and went last-to-third,
made the playoffs, and made a little noise in the end. Nice to have them
News Update 7/27/04
The Trigun Gladiators and the
Sphynx Sinners have joined the league in recent days. There is a rumor
that the Gladiators may actually be last year's Trigun team, but there
has been no confirmation of this as yet. And we're still waiting
to see if Jynx will be back this year.
Regardless, welcome to all
the new teams.
Horny Hippy becomes Rabid Mutants in
During the cover of darkness
Manager Joe Hutchison has moved his Hippy franchise to Tallapoosa, Georgia.
But believe it or not, that is a minor change. Announcing the move this
morning at a press conference, he also announced many other changes that
are sure to alienate hippy fans worldwide. The Hippy name was abandoned
in favor of the Rabid Mutants. The entire coaching staff was replaced,
and fourteen former players were cut, many starters last year. All were
replaced by an odd and vile assortment of mutants, ghouls, and other degenerates.
The team logo was changed, and two mascots introduced. The changes are
so severe, it hardly seems like the same franchise. Said Hutchison, "This
is what I was after. A complete facelift. We went from soft to hard, pretty
to poisonous, funloving to ravenous. We're now a lean, mean, scary team.
We went from respecting the PackerPuke to wondering if they would be better
fried, baked, or raw. We are no longer nice and cuddly, now we're nasty
and bloody. And we're ready to feed on the pathetic competition that awaits
here to see the new home page for the Rabid Mutants
the Horny Hippy retired!
to be unveiled in "a matter of days"
to the GridIron Gurus
Joe Hutchison, in a surprise last minute move has retired Hippo, the lovable
Horny Hippy Mascot, and banned the use of several now former team symbols
including the "yin yang" and "peace" signs and any reference to "illegal
drugs." The moves, just before the new season starts, have outraged local
hippys who claim the affectionate sideline prowler is being used as a scapegoat
for last season's last second championship collapse. When confronted with
this allegation Hutchison did not pretend otherwise, "collapse?? - you
mean that self mutilation last year? Yeah, we started the party 2 minutes
too soon. That's what horny, happy, mamby-pamby hippies do. And it cost
us everything. It won't happen again. Now we are the Hostile Hippys and
we have a score to settle with them Tipton County cowtipping boys" referring
to the reigning repeat Champion PackerPuke. He was later quoted as saying
"Hippo is a good personal friend of mine, a real nice guy, and a real babe
magnet. And he's fun to be around when you can get him to keep his pants
on. But he no longer symbolizes the mood of this team. He realizes this
and agreed to retire. He didn't want to represent "hostile" anyway. The
new mascot won't fumble about wagging his dally and toking the happy weed,
he'll scratch, fight, and claw his way past those fumunda PackerPuke, and
he'll do it with an attitude. He will be agile, mobile, and hostile
- very hostile."
team name was changed from the Portland Pride when it moved to the Memphis
area two seasons ago. Hutchison now lives in Georgia and that, coupled
with the latest changes have enraged local hippy support. Hutchison is
reportedly considering moving the team to Tallapoosa and dropping the "hippy"
name, but so far has had no comment on the matter. Many insiders feel this
latest shakeup is a precursor to that very move.
analyst Mike (the muncher) Tyson says there seems to be a direct effort
to single out the PackerPuke for confrontation by the Hippy franchise,
"That whitie wants trouble man." League Commissioner Richie Cunningham
warned both franchises to "just cut it out you guys" and the league's legal
advisor (Rodney Peete) asked "can't we all just get along?" So far there
has been no official reply from the PackerPuke organization or Manager